” There are two types of people in this world…those who like Neil Diamond and those who don’t” ( Bob Wiley~ “What About Bob”)
I wrote this parody, in tribute, to the much spoken of “fact”, on various LOST podcasts , that our beloved Losties apparently really dig swimming with their jeans on.
As summer is winding down, I thought I’d finally put this song out there (and it’s pretty out there… )
WARNING : If you have an aversion to the effects of what happens when denim and salt water mix and/or disturbing ” interpretation” of a Neil Diamond vocalization (are there any other kind?) , turn back NOW!
(If you’d like to hear more LOST Parodies, click the link or find them under “LOST Parodies” under “Catergories” in the Blogroll)
SWIMMING IN BLUE JEANS
Stick like caulk
And chaffin’ so bad, I can barely walk
But if it worked for Sawyer and Charlie
I’d much rather be
Swimmin’ in blue jeans
Denim’s sweet
So I don’t care about the gravity
And like Des and Sayid
I’d like to stay pruney all day
Swimmin’ in blue jeans
Maybe tonight
Maybe tonight by the fire get my jeans nice and dry
But then the sound of the pounding surf
Calls me to dive
Stick like caulk
And fabric so tight that it hurts to cough
But if it worked for Sawyer and Charlie
I’d much rather be
Swimmin’ in blue jeans, babe
And denim’s sweet
So I don’t care it pinches in the seat
And like Des and Sayid
I’d like to stay pruney all day
Swimmin’ in blue jeans
Maybe tonight
Maybe tonight by the fire get my jeans nice and dry
But then the sound of the pounding surf
Calls me to dive
Skin like chalk
Wrinkled like the trenchcoat of Peter Falk
But if I wanna be like a Lostie
I guess I’ll just keep
Swimmin’ in blue jeans
And if you pardon me
Havin’ fun but…
My fly’s rusted shut
From swimmin’ in blue jeans, babe
Until I get some WD-40
I guess I’ll still be
Swimmin’ in blue jeans
(Parody of ” Forever in Blue Jeans ” By Neil Diamond {Neil Diamond, Richard Bennett, 1979 Stonebridge Music (ASCAP) } , New lyrics by Wendy Lincoln, 2008)
In “The Moth”, Sawyer tries to reassure his “Amigo” (Charlie)
that he will inform Kate (and Sayid )about Jack trapped in a cave in. Of course, being Season One Sawyer, he decides to withhold that tidbit of info from Kate until she had thoroughly dissed him about the lack of “Jackness” in his character.
Amigo : (female form: Amiga) is a Spanish and Portuguese word for friend. It has been in use in American English since 1837 (as in Adiós, amigo, meaning Goodbye, friend). ( Source: Wikipedia )
Sadly, we had to say “Adios, amigo” to Mr. Pace , IMO, in one of the most moving scenes ever on Lost, in ” Through the Looking Glass” ( Season Three).
But who knows. Maybe over the next two remaining seasons, Hurley will see Charlie by the Drakes Cakes.
This isn’t a ” What is the Smoke Monster?” or other cool mystery on the show question. But I need to know the answer to this because it is …just…ahhh! Is the character played by Elizabeth Mitchell on Lost named Juliet or Juliette?
If you go to the ABC site, in the show’s discription it is spelled Juliet. But on my Season 3 Soundtrack CD, there is a song called ” Juliette is Lost”.
So, if anyone has the definative answer, please let me know. I keep changing my blog everytime that it’s different in books and other sites. I might start being as skitty as Daniel Faraday if this is not resolved.
And come to think of it …is it ” Shepherd” or ” Shepard” or …..” Shephard” ..or ” Sheperd”….
During Charlie’s attempt to get help for Jack in the cave in, Sawyer tells him Kate and ” Muhammed” (Sayid) were in the jungle and that he’d go look for them.
Now, “Muhammed” , could be refering to a popular and commonly used name by people in Arabic nations , a nickname generating tool utilized by James ( see Sawyer Nickname Origin # 5 ).
But maybe he calls Sayid that nickname after Boxing Heavyweight Champ, Muhammed Ali (formally known as Cassius Clay) because, as far as island fighers go ” He is the Greatest” and Sayid is ” so pretty!” ) ( But then again, aren’t they all on Lost ! )
Lost, if it was cast circa 1976 and at the helm was Quinn Martin.
How stellar would the ABC team be in ” Battle of the Network Stars” if this happened? “Look out, NBC and Robert Conrad! You’re going down, turkeys!” ( Wow! How old am I?)
Jack is trapped in a cave in. Charlie, who managed to escape it, runs to the beach to get some assistance in digging him out. Sawyer tries to reassure ” Sport” that he’ll do his part and go find Kate, who is with Sayid looking for the right place to triangulate Danielle’s distress signal. ( The Moth, Season One)
According to dictionary.com (in this meaning of the word) a ” sport” is …
One known for the manner of one’s acceptance of rules, especially of a game, or of a difficult situation: a poor sport.
Informal One who accepts rules or difficult situations well.
Informal A pleasant companion: was a real sport during the trip.
A person who lives a jolly, extravagant life
And I’m sure Sawyer saw Charlie that way. At least, right up until Sawyer decided to play “keep away” with Claire’s diary and Charlie punched him where Sayid accidentally stabbed him through the arm. ( Special, Season One)
American Psychological Association (APA):
Sport. (n.d.). The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Retrieved August 25, 2008, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Sport
Chicago Manual Style (CMS):
Sport. Dictionary.com. The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Sport (accessed: August 25, 2008).
Modern Language Association (MLA):
“Sport.” The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. 25 Aug. 2008.
Kate is trying to convince Sawyer to give her a battery from one of the laptops he “found” in the wreckage so she, Sayid (in full on geek mode) and helpful (?) Boone triangulate Danielle’s (known only as “the French woman”, at this point) 16 year old message’s signal. Sawyer ,while bargaining, can’t help but tease Kate about her little crush on ol’ ” Jacko”. ( The Moth, Season One)
There’s been an Austrailian football player named Jacko, a Sasquatch (Bigfoot) named Jacko and even one of America’s first ladies (well, Jackie O’ ).
But probably the most recognized “Jacko” in the world is singer/dancer/tabloid cash cow Michael Jackson. What do our Dr. Shephard and ” The Gloved One” have in common? Surgeries…and plenty of um! One can’t help performing them ( even on himself) and one can’t help getting them.
(from Slinktaz9 on youtube)
Now, Jack’s practice is in Los Angeles. Maybe Dr. Jack was making a little cash on the side at Neverland Ranch (for all his ” medicine” , expanding tattoo collection, and Dustbuster Beard Vac bags)? A nip here, a tuck there. Maybe that is why Jack has to go back to the island….to stop the madness!?
In Season One’s Charliecentric episode, ” The Moth”, we learn that Mr. Pace has a big brother named Liam. He and Charlie were the founding members of the fictional rock band “Driveshaft”. But when we first meet Liam, he’s waiting for Charlie in the sanctuary of his church. Liam greets his brother by mockingly calling Charlie ” choir boy”.
Wiki states that ” A choirboy is a boy member of a choir, also known as a treble.
As a slang term, it refers to a do-gooder or someone who is morally upright, in the same sense that “Boy Scout” refers to someone who is considered honorable or conscientious. “
This scene in The Moth also seemed like a parallel to the temptation in the Garden of Eden. Charlie, prior to his meeting with Liam, is speaking to a priest about choices. That temptations, of rockstars or anyone else, are set before us but we are the ones who chose between sin and purity. (“death” and “life”). Charlie was determined to “do good” by quiting the band. But Liam tempts Charlie with the “fruit” of celebrity and “rockgodness” (“ye shall be as gods” ?)
So, if Charlie quit Driveshaft, he would have never gotten into drugs and meaningless relationships. But if his life wasn’t so wrapped up in the band, Charlie would have never gotten on Oceanic Flight 815. And if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have been there to warn his fellow islanders of imminant danger and save their lives. Then of course, his playing surrodad to Aaron will probably be even more important that we know now. (Kind of like the whole “Locke gets kidney stolen by his dad, then attempts walkabout, goes on 815, so he can live later on as “King Other”, despite Ben shooting him…where? Where the kidney was, of course ! ).
In the end, despite previous poor choices, on and off island, Charlie goes back to his “choir boy” ways.
In light of this comes the idea of “course correction”. How much do our choices affect us, others, and the world? Barely at all or monumentally? Maybe ,depending on the situation, both? And how much do we “chose” and how much is “chosen for us” ?
Damon and Carlton spoke recently about time travel in the Lost “universe” , ( I’m paraphrasing here) that the person “traveling” can make some things “better” in the past. But as far as the “big picture” and how it ends….is already done.
” Two players…two sides….one is light…one is dark ” . It is what it is.
Happy LOST Thought of the Day: Charlie singing falsetto harmony of ” You All Everybody” to a bewildered Kate and an apathetic Jack.
In House of the Rising Sun (Season One) Sawyer is grilling Kate about if she is going to the caves with Dr. Jack or staying on the beach with ” Captain Falafel” , otherwise known as Sayid
According to Wikipedia ” Falafel (Arabic: فلافل falaafil (help·info), Hebrew: פָלָאפֶל; also known in Egypt and Sudan as ta’meya, Arabic طعمية), is a fried ball or patty made from spiced fava beans and/or chickpeas. It is a popular form of fast food in the Middle East, where it is also served as a mezze (snack or tapas)….Falafel is generally served in pita bread, either inside the pita, which acts as a pocket, or wrapped in a flat pita. In many countries, falafel is a popular street food or fast food. ”
Sawyer does love a good food related insult, doesn’t he?
Well, maybe this youtube video by RhettandLink ( The Food Cart Song-NYC), will help James have a new perspective about falafel, its vendors and their fellow food “cartists” ( Did I just make up a new word ? )
Warning: Approaching Lost Love Triangle Zone. Enter At Own Risk
As Kate
is staring out at the ocean, comtemplating whether to stay on the beach or go back to the caves, up saunters Sawyer with a ” Well, well, well. If it ain’t the belle of the ball”, pointing out a couple of her potential suitors {Jack and Sayid} Of course, he wouldn’t be one of them . ( House of the Rising Sun, Season One).
According to Dictionary.com,
belle –noun 1. a woman or girl admired for her beauty and charm.
2. the most beautiful, charming, or engaging woman or girl among a number: the belle of the ball.
It could be said that the most well known “belle of the ball” of all time is Scarlett O’Hara from the book (Margaret Mitchell) and movie ” Gone with the Wind”. Scarlett is a gorgeous and charming but also a very stubborn and selfish woman. She uses whatever is at her disposal to get who/what she wants, despite the consequences. But through personal hardship ( some of it brought on by her own bad behavior) and the Civil War, in the end , Scarlett learns what really matters to her and what is most valueable: Love for her home and for a man that she may have ostrasized forever. And yet, she will continue to survive and choose what she never would have before: Hope. ( And as we learned from Sayid ” Hope is a dangerous thing to lose”. )
Kate is a bit of a ” Scarlett” herself.( “If I want your spot, I’ll get your spot” ) Many a man has been charmed by Ms. Austen ( or whatever her name is this week). And several paid dearly for it, even though some were of dubious character themselves: Jason, Ed Mars, Tom Brennan, Ray, Kevin, etc. etc.) Some of her motives where purely self perservatory, others because she thought she knew what was “best” for someone else.
Sayid has faded into the background since this episode in who are the main men in Kate’s sights. She has “narrowed it down” to Jack (Ashley Wilkes) and Sawyer ( Rhett Butler) .
Jack is the man she “should ” be with , Sawyer is the man she “can’t help ” but be with. Ironically, it was Jack who gives Kate the “Rhett” speech and is threatened by the “ghost” of Sawyer in ” Something Nice Back Home”.
In the end, Scarlett played too much on both sides of the fence and ends up with neither man. Will this be Kate’s fate as well? Maybe she has a “Tara” of her own that will ease the pain and give her hope? Wonder what/who that will be?
Poor Shannon Rutherford ( played by Maggie Grace) . Will we never know if she would’ve become a famous ballerina? Or if she could actually bait a hook ? Or if Sayid would truly have dumped Nadia for her? Or most importantly, why Boone said she was “special in alot of ways”. Is that another reason why Walt gave Vincent to her…because she was a fellow ” special” person ?
Damon & Carlton…Must….have …zombie…season !!
Happy LOST Thought of the Day : Shannon ( to Sayid, trying to figure out Rousseau’s maps )
Lostmedia.com has a nice slideshow of pictures of Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series, ALMA Awards winner, Jorge Garcia. Congratulations to you, Jorge. ( Are you listening, Emmy voters? 2009, perhaps? )
Jorge, you make us laugh. You make us cry. You ask the questions that we would ask on the show. You make us want to sit and share an Apollo bar with you. And we love you for it!
Montage of Oceanic Air and other Lost “inconveniences” that coincide with this tune by folk comedy group Arrogant Worms. (Made for youtube by leony331)
Jack, Kate, Charlie and Locke, while collecting water in the new found caves, stumble upon two skeletons; one male, one female. In the pocket of the man was a pouch containing one black and one white stone. (House of the Rising Sun, Season One), While pondering the discovery of the two well decomposed bodies, Locke declares ” Our very own ‘Adam and Eve’ “.
Though there have been many inferences and illustrations of it in art and literature ( such as John Milton’s “Paradise Lost” ) the main source of the ” Adam and Eve” story is The Bible.
In Genesis Chapters 1-3, is the written account of the first man and woman created , their temption by the serpent , their fall into sin, and their expulsion from the Garden of Eden. At the end of the story that takes place near the Garden, Adam and Eve are kept from returning to Eden by angels (cherabim) and a flaming sword that guards the entrance to it, to keep the “tree of life”. That they may not enter there in the fallen state that they are in. If they entered back into “paradise”, they will remain in a state of “death”. The rest of the Bible is the continuence toward redemption of those who are “fallen from grace”, to be reconciled with God in “life” again.
There seems to be many themes that are akin to these in Lost: temptation, falling short, consequences, destruction, repentance & forgiveness (or refusal of), and probably in the end, some sort of redemption and restoration.
I have said this before that there is quite a bit of theorizing on some boards and blogs that the Island may be a type of ” Garden of Eden” ( or the “actual” one, storywise anyway ) . But who are the ” Adam and Eve” of it? ( Please, let me know who you think they might be and why. I’d love to hear from you , in comments or at bunnieshatch@aol.com )
Here are a few possible candidates ( the majority fall in the “probably not” column…but still fun) :
Jack and Kate ( who both mention ” Adam and Eve” {and Kate not wanting to be ” Eve” } in HOTRS, and that he, at least for now, has the black and white stones.)
Sawyer and Kate ( Triangle)
Sawyer and Juliet ( Quadrangle)
Jack and Juliet ( Parallelagram)
Desmond and Penny (he promised to never leave her…maybe it will be here where they remain?)
Daniel and Charlotte ( because she was “born” here and ” the light …doesn’t..quite..scatter” )
Rose and Bernard ( She needs to stay and he stopped building the S. O. S. sign)
Jin and Sun ( if he “jumped ship” that is)
Nikki and Paulo ( ” Things don’t stay buried for long on this Island” )
Boone and Shannon ( see Nikki and Paulo)
Alex and Karl ( again, Nikki and Paulo)
Gerald and Karen Degroot
Ben and Juliet ( She did “reaffirm” that she was ” his”)
Ben and Annie
Zack and Emma
Horace and Olivia Goodspeed
Aaron and Ji Yeon
Locke and Helen ( That would be cool since he was the first one to call them ” Adam and Eve”. Another tidbit: Big Band Leader and Air Force Major Glen Miller , who mysteriously disappeared, along with his plane, his widow was named Helen. ” Colonel” Locke…I know, different branch…but still…:) )
Amelia Earhart and Fred Noonan ( more cool time travel stuff)
And last but not least….
Frogurt and Blue Stripped Half Shirt Girl
Sawyer and “Omar” (Sayid) are contemplating what to do with an irrate Jin who attacked Michael on the beach (House of the Rising Sun, Season One). They decide to handcuff him to the wreckage until some answers are produced. Sun provides them to Michael (in English, a language no one thought that she knew). It was because he was wearing a watch Sun’s father asked him to deliver in L.A. when they got there. Michael then breaks Jin free with an axe. Henceforth, Jin will continue to wear half a pair of handcuffs until Michael cuts it off in the Swan Hatch in Season Two’s “What Kate Did” (Episode 9) { That’s 27 episodes! There needs to be some kind of award for Daniel Dae Kim, as well as LOST for continuity }
“Omar” nickname origin may be another nickname simular to that of ” Abdul” (see Sawyer Nickname Origin # 5. It may also be a reference to dashing leading man of stage and screen Omar Sharif (Lawrence of Arabia, Dr. Zhivago).
But we have been aquainted yet again with this name in Season Four (Lost is certainly known for its use of repeated names ) . Martin Keamy’s “little buddy” , his Lackey # 1 , was named….Omar (played by Anthony Azizi) (Thanks LOSTpedia ). And he was a very good sidekick….until Keamy sidekicked a grenade in his immediate direction.
Here’s a video called ” Keamy- Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go!” (Made by dharmagedon2k for youtube) with Martin & Sayid sluggin’ it out to some Vanilla Ice/TMNT, sprinkled with flashes of Freighter Omar.
In ” House of the Rising Sun” (Season One), Charlie, a flirty Kate & Jack and ” The Great White Hunter” ( John Locke) take a trek to the new found water source discovered by “Luck” by Dr. Shephard in the caves. ( Luck had nothing to do with it, as we know, but Christian Shephard.
* Note to self* Next possible project: Comb through episodes and track the “lies” and find what really happened {or at least what appears to have happened }.
According to TV Tropes Wiki about the term Great White Hunter (along with a list of well known ones in fiction)
“The heroic counterpart to the Egomaniac Hunter and the Evil Poacher, the Great White Hunter is a heroic big game hunter. He is most likely a Gentleman Adventurer but he could also be an earthier type who leads safaris for a living. Either way he will be an expert tracker, a crack shot and skilled at wilderness survival. “
Yes, the name seems to fit John fairly “spot on”. But doesn’t this nickname, in many ways, also apply to Kate? Or is she just a star pupil for whatever ” Great White Hunter” taught her? Sam Austen? Joe (Kelvin) Inman? Edward Mars? Or someone else we know or will learn of later? Possibly setting her up to be the “LaShade” of the series? In the pilot episode, she tells Jack that she saw the entire crash. Why? Was she somehow “prepared” for it?
Eh, maybe Hurley’s ” LaShade” ( evil mastermind/ former ally) because he brought it up? Maybe Lost is like author Agatha Christie’s (” Evil Under the Sun” , a Lost booklist novel) ” Murder on the Orient Express” where *spoiler* They all were the murderer * End of spoiler *.
Could everyone on Lost have “dirty hands” and is a mole for the mysterious ” him” , the Ultimate Great White Hunter?
(You watch! Now no one will be ” LaShade” and it’s a total red herring? Oh, I don’t know…see what you do to me, Lost? )
* Side note* Clint Eastwood made a movie in 1990 of this theme titled ” White Hunter, Black Heart” co starring Mr. Jeff Fahey a.k.a Frank Lapidus .
As they are winding down from the Lost Episode Cup (it appears ” The Constant” is going to take it this year), Dark UFO will be starting the Lost Character Cup . (If all is well) voting will begin Monday,August 18. There is a very funny video advertising it there as well. A Season 4 DVD set goes to the winner (and a possible other prize for a perfect bracket. See DarkUFO for details).
Will Locke retain the title from last year’s match up? We’ll just have to wait and see…
) 
Congratulations to you, Jorge. ( Are you listening, Emmy voters? 2009, perhaps? 
